More about my mother

my mother... what a beautiful person. She married 2 men. She married my brothers father. And my father. Not but 5 years later she had died... I had yet to understand death/ dying. She used to sing us to sleep. And she would lay right next to us. My brother however I dont think he is as much effected as I am. He likes this new woman that father has taken an intrest in. After my 10th birthday on the anniversery of mother's death i went into a deep depression, and they only one who could help me out of it was mother but that was impossible, she had been dead six painful years. I can remember it as just yesterday. January 29th 1999. Just 4 days and 4 years after I was born. I remember what that night was like lying in my bed in a room filled with darkness, and my sister and her bed. I remember hollering for father to tell mother to come sing to us, because I could not sleep. He came in quietly and I remember the room filling with light from the hall, and he came and sat in the rocking chair in between our bed. He started to sing the song mother used to sing. and when he finished he kissed each of our heads and then said mother went on a trip and wouldnt be back for a while. I remember waking up the next morning and i ran into my mothers/fathers room and jumped on to her side of the bed and her not being there to hug me while i was hugging the air. I started talking jibberish, like father said that you went on a very long trip and wouldnt be coming back for a while mother, but he was just lying right mother?? and stuff very much similar, but then i opened my eyes and nothing was there. just a blank, empty room.... I remember crying and sitting there for the whole day thinking she'd be back later. I remember waking up everyday for the next few months and Id run in to her room to see if she had came home today, but everytime there was nothing but an empty room.